Victorian mother’s new book to help others pick up the pieces after road trauma

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19 Dec 2014

A Victorian mother has opened up about the tragic death of her 16-year-old son in a new book she hopes will help others find strength following the loss of a loved one to road trauma.

Dr Fiona Reidy's book, Weeping Woman – Finding hope and courage following road trauma, details her family's journey since her son, Rory McCaffrey, died in a high-speed crash on the Bellarine Peninsula in December 2011.

Through Fiona's story and the experiences of six other women who have lost children to road trauma, the book explores the bond between mother and child and the devastating grief that follows when that bond is broken in tragic circumstances.

Rory was two days shy of his 17th birthday when a friend – an unlicenced driver who had taken his parents car without their permission – texted to see if he wanted to go for a midnight ride with a couple of other classmates. Without telling his parents, Rory accepted. He was killed instantly when the car lost control at high speed and struck a tree.

"I went to bed the mother of three delightful children and by 5am I was a grief-stricken mother of two bereft girls," Dr Reidy said.

"That the long-developed bond between a mother and child could be so cruelly severed in an uncontrollable instant is literally heartbreaking, gut wrenching and breathtaking."

By integrating Fiona's personal story with the experiences of others and contemporary research exploring grief, Weeping Woman develops a compelling argument that it is possible to make choices in bereavement. Making these choices is an important step in allowing hope and courage to overcome the fear and despair that accompanies the loss of a loved one through tragedy.

"There is an old-fashioned approach that says you say goodbye and you try to let go. I don't find that approach particularly helpful and, in my journey, I have found that it is better to create continuing bonds with Rory – through his interests and our memories of him," Dr Reidy said.

Fiona and her husband Tony McCaffrey and their two daughters, Molly and Keeley, have set up the Rory McCaffrey Reconciliation Collaborative.

"We have incorporated Rory's support for Aboriginal reconciliation into our lives as a way of keeping alive the values that we shared with him," Dr Reidy said.

Transport Accident Commission chief executive officer Janet Dore, this week launched the book in Geelong.

"I have been personally moved by Fiona's story. I have also been moved by the way she and her family have been so determined to make Rory's short life mean something," Ms Dore said.

"To harness your own grief and use it to help others in the same situation is an admirable thing and that is what Fiona has achieved through Weeping Woman," Ms Dore said.

Dr Reidy's self-published Weeping Woman is now available at www.bookpal.com.au

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